"A nice lively article . . ."
LATECOMERS NOT ALLOWED
I hate people who are late. I am never late, a reaction to my parents always being embarrassingly so. Being late is the height of rudeness. Being late for a live performance is the worst. People pay to see a performance, and can’t even turn up on time?
There are two types of latecomers I abhor. The first meander in after the show has started, saying innocently “Oh, are we late?” not caring that they’ve missed the first part. The second storm in, demanding to be seated immediately, blaming everything bar themselves for their lateness.
As an usher, I have mastered the art of latecomers. Smiling I say “No inconvenience at all . . .etc” while sticking pins into patron voodoo dolls.
Am I being too harsh? There are always excuses for being late. People don’t plan getting stuck on the motorway for hours, but it happens surprisingly often.
I have the answer though. Richard Griffiths, currently starring in The History Boys, has stopped shows when mobiles ring, publicly humiliating the offenders. This should be standard practice for latecomers, with a spotlight on them moving to their seats. It would ensure they are never late again. But can you imagine that during a drama? King Henry says “Art thou against us Exeter?”
To which Exeter replies “Pardon me, thou shall have my answer anon. Pause awhile to seat these rude people.”
(First Journalism assignment - 231 words)
I hate people who are late. I am never late, a reaction to my parents always being embarrassingly so. Being late is the height of rudeness. Being late for a live performance is the worst. People pay to see a performance, and can’t even turn up on time?
There are two types of latecomers I abhor. The first meander in after the show has started, saying innocently “Oh, are we late?” not caring that they’ve missed the first part. The second storm in, demanding to be seated immediately, blaming everything bar themselves for their lateness.
As an usher, I have mastered the art of latecomers. Smiling I say “No inconvenience at all . . .etc” while sticking pins into patron voodoo dolls.
Am I being too harsh? There are always excuses for being late. People don’t plan getting stuck on the motorway for hours, but it happens surprisingly often.
I have the answer though. Richard Griffiths, currently starring in The History Boys, has stopped shows when mobiles ring, publicly humiliating the offenders. This should be standard practice for latecomers, with a spotlight on them moving to their seats. It would ensure they are never late again. But can you imagine that during a drama? King Henry says “Art thou against us Exeter?”
To which Exeter replies “Pardon me, thou shall have my answer anon. Pause awhile to seat these rude people.”
(First Journalism assignment - 231 words)
posted by Anna at 2:15 pm
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